Ok, not snow related but help wanted....

[Jahoota]

I have a teenager that really needs to learn some humility. Badly.

What I want is a list of charity organisations that help feed/cloth/counsel the homeless and the forgotten. I'm looking for stuff like missionbeat, the salvo's william booth house (drug rehab), soup kitchens etc.

Someone needs a major attitude adjustment and I'm going to make her join me in helping people who are a poo-load worse of than she is. She just needs a very rude reality check about how good she really has it. and I'm going to deliver it.

So, any suggestions here please.

thanks.
andrew.

[Podlettte]

ahhh yes, the species: Teenagus girlus..... such an out of control ball of hormones and self importance!

Mission australia do mini bus runs at night around the city (sydney) handing out essential items to the homeless. I used to work for them in another area of their business, but know you can go out with them on those runs if you want to, it's very confronting and very humbling. Give them a ring, if they still do it, she will be horrified guaranteed.

[Vet]

there but for the grace of God, a stroke,a bashing etc ... go I.

1. take her to the soup kitchen for lunch.

2. take her to a shared accom home, often known as a supported residential service. For $33 a day (the pension) they get a shared bedroom, 3 meals, meds, and are often brain injured.

3. put her over the hols in a farm working holiday.

4. take her the Choir of Hard Knocks;

5. No pocket money;

6. Open a ledger, insert every cent you spend on her, and tell her your Will will offset her share with the debt. Wanna draft Will? I'll whip one up that, like the Norsemen of Pld, buries you with everything you owned. Take it with you...

[Vet]

7. Go car shopping for something reallly aweful, like a P76.And threaten to drive her to skool every morning.

8. All of the above. :eek:

[Podlettte]

Mission Aust also have men's and women's shelters, which would be an eye opener for her to visit a few nights in a row as it's mostly different people

[Legolas]

hmmmm, perhaps I am a bit closer to my teenage years than you lot, but I rather feel that if anyone had tried that stunt on me I would have seen it as exactly that and resented the person, and the poor people that were being subjected to me a tiny bit more.

Poor and homeless people are not there for the wealthy to educate our kids on. They are there for many many reasons and what they need is the support of genuine people who really want to be there offering support.

Perhaps a weekend grounding would be put to good use in googling statistics on Australian teenagers. The average ones, the priveleged and the under priveleged.

Perhaps a well researched essay could be presented to parents, along with her plan for :

1) becoming a more balanced member of the family
2) becoming a more invoolved member of her community
3) the family working together on a project for improving her social conscience (e.g. she might decide to allocate a portion of her pay (that you could match dollar for dollar)to sponsor a local homeless child or a family in Namibia; she might decide on her own accord that she would like the whole family to visit a hostel and offer support twice a year).

If she finds the stats herself and is expected to show her method and solution, she may well gain something using her own nouse, rather than being forced (do any of us ever gain as much that way?).

good luck! I don't envy you a bit!!!

I am soooo so so dreading the evolution of my beasties into teenagers!!

[Jahoota]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Legolas:
hmmmm, perhaps I am a bit closer to my teenage years than you lot, but I rather feel that if anyone had tried that stunt on me I would have seen it as exactly that and resented the person, and the poor people that were being subjected to me a tiny bit more.

that is a damn good point

Poor and homeless people are not there for the wealthy to educate our kids on. They are there for many many reasons and what they need is the support of genuine people who really want to be there offering support.

you know, in my present state of mind (very p'off) that is a really good point. I had not considered that all. I do mean it to be genuine but your so right on the education thing that I will have to re think it. redface.gif

Perhaps a weekend grounding would be put to good use in googling statistics on Australian teenagers. The average ones, the priveleged and the under priveleged.

Perhaps a well researched essay could be presented to parents, along with her plan for :

1) becoming a more balanced member of the family
2) becoming a more invoolved member of her community
3) the family working together on a project for improving her social conscience (e.g. she might decide to allocate a portion of her pay (that you could match dollar for dollar)to sponsor a local homeless child or a family in Namibia; she might decide on her own accord that she would like the whole family to visit a hostel and offer support twice a year).

If she finds the stats herself and is expected to show her method and solution, she may well gain something using her own nouse, rather than being forced (do any of us ever gain as much that way?).


unfortunately, not a hope in hell of achieving that! She's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to selfish. :rolleyes:


good luck! I don't envy you a bit!!!

ta for the support Legs. I know I'm not the first to be subjected to a pile of teenage BS nor the last. I just dont understand the need to be so difficult about every damn thing. and a seemingly willing desire to not even make an effort on anything unless its her bloody social life. :mad:

I am soooo so so dreading the evolution of my beasties into teenagers!!

luck of the draw - I have a deluxe one and troublesome one. Perhaps you'll draw a full straight!


Its just such a frustrating process at present. :(

[Wolverine]

Has anyone tried talking to her first?
Like properly communicating with her?
Not just yaking crap?

[Legolas]

no wolfster, they've probably just ignored her all her life and suddenly can't understand who this evil being is that interrupts their evenings...

the flipside of imposing on a teenager might be suggesting to a parent that they haven't done a good job/tried hard enough...by the sounds of things, hoots is already angry (and thanks for making that feel better for a frustrated parent) and also at the end of the tether...i.e. they've tried everything.

methinks you don't have kids or you'd show a teensy bit more solidarity/support... :rolleyes:

[ 02. June 2009, 10:01 PM: Message edited by: Legolas ]

[Xena]

Hoots - let me guess - she is 15 or 16?

Get a book called "The Princess B*tchface Syndrome"

linky (http://www.capersbookstore.com.au/scripts/shop_item.asp?by=fla&item=2220)

....hence why my daughter is nicknamed in here Princess BF!!!

[Podlettte]

Very good point legs, about being genuine about offering support for homeless, not just oggling them or using them for a lesson. You make several excellent points in that post!

[Legolas]

Originally posted by Xena:
Hoots - let me guess - she is 15 or 16?

Get a book called "The Princess B*tchface Syndrome"

linky (http://www.capersbookstore.com.au/scripts/shop_item.asp?by=fla&item=2220)

....hence why my daughter is nicknamed in here Princess BF!!! graemlins/big_laugh.gif

might get me a copy and shelve it for :counts on fingers: 11 years!!

[Wolverine]

Our family and surrounds has never had these symptoms from either male/female teens.

It's parents who spoil their children that seem to cop this the worst.

Dunno, just my life's observation.

I don't see it amongst the financially strapped up families. Only the middle to upper class.

[ 02. June 2009, 11:30 PM: Message edited by: Rednut ]

[Wolverine]

I don't need to be a parent to make that observation SC. I've seen various households, various situations, various teachings, various salaries, various dynamics and the simple conclusion/summary is...

It comes down to parents who instill the value of the dollar to their children. This is normally a rule of thumb to those families who are cash strapped.
Not necessarily the case to those who are not.

I'm talking about kids who have all the toys/gadgets/posters/electronic paraphanalia under the sun.

In my day, not to long ago, I was lucky if I could count all of the above on a pair of hands.

Try getting a kid these days to count it to the nearest hundred and then some.

Kids who are spoilt or difficult didn't become like that over night.

And yes, in order to become 'spoilt' a figure must have allowed it to be the case, knowingly or not.

No sympathy here.

[Wolverine]

As I said, I've no sympathy to one who has a difficult teenager.

Sorry Jahoots.

[SnoWhite]

Each child is going to be different, regardless of their background and upbringing. I was a nightmare. My brother was a breeze. Same parents, certainly not spoilt, but also not hard up.

I think a lot of it is about communication, even when the teenager isn't doing much of it. My parents started off going easy on me and then toughened up, which in retrospect was a good thing. My Mum cared about me enough to be hard on me and took the responsibility of being a parent very seriously even though I was nasty, spiteful and resentful for a few years.

Hang in there Jahoota. With love (even if it has to be tough love for a while) and support and caring, there's a good chance she'll come out the other side a nice person.

My Mum and I have an extremely special relationship these days, which is based on love, respect, understanding and caring. If you'd known me at 15 you may not have thought it possible!

[Wolverine]

Actually you put it well SnoWhite.

I've been brought up military style, so there's no room for bratty teenagers/kids.
We never had that opportunity. If and when we did, we got belted and rarely forgot the penalties.

Well ok that's bull dust, I'm the exception.

graemlins/big_laugh.gif

[SnoWhite]

Originally posted by Wolfster:
As I said, I've no sympathy to one who has a difficult teenager.

Sorry Jahoots. I don't think he's after anyone's sympathy Wolvy. I get the impression he's just throwing it out there and seeking some suggestions and opinions to help get a difficult teenager and others involved with her through a tough time. If a lot more parents cared enough about their kids to try and get through the hard times and put their hand up when they needed help and advice our society might just be a better place.

[karen97]

Originally posted by Wolfster:

I've been brought up military style, so there's no room for bratty teenagers/kids.
We never had that opportunity. If and when we did, we got belted and rarely forgot the penalties.


graemlins/big_laugh.gif QED

[Wolverine]

Yeah granted.
I guess he got me off on the defensive stance straight up when Jahoots said he needs to teach his teenager some humility, badly.

I thought immediately...well what the frig have you been doing all the years up till then?

Sorry just a simpleton with a pea brain.

Wolvy
xo

[BLB]

Originally posted by Wolfster:


It comes down to parents who instill the value of the dollar to their children. This is normally a rule of thumb to those families who are cash strapped.
Not necessarily the case to those who are not.

I'm talking about kids who have all the toys/gadgets/posters/electronic paraphanalia under the sun.

Having worked with in excess of 500+ kids of varying ages over the last 15 years, I can tell you that that comment is very far from the truth.
Often the most cash strapped families are the ones who's children have the most toys, as this is how they tend show their love and often go without them selves. I couldn't count the number of children who come to school each day with no lunch, but have a new PSP game each week, new shoes and every to known to man.

So, Wolvy, I think you need to keep observing for a while

[snowpyro]

Midget + Google fixes all!

[Wolverine]

Clearly they are not cash strapped BLB, if they have Toys R Us in each of their bedrooms.

Cash strapped means just enough to put food on the table and sandwiches for lunch.

Some days, lunches are overlooked.

That sort of cash strapped.

[SnoWhite]

Military style certainly wasn't the case with me. Don't think that would have worked too well at all. Certainly no belting went on! I'm talking psychologically tough. There are no rule books with teenagers. As I said, each one will be different.

Whilst I don't understand a parent's frustration first hand, I've been on the other end dishing it out and know that it wasn't because my parents did a bad job at all.

[Northern Boarder]

Well put Sno White.

In the end Kids respect the consistent drawing of boundaries by parents who love their kids enough to care to bother about them.

If you are fair with appropriate consequences for actions your daughter will appreciate it in the long run.(teens want the boundaries drawn but they wont admit it)

The balance of the love, fairness and consistency will win out in the end.

Hang in there

There is no other option.

[Silverwitch]

It is not until you have your own children and you go on that shopping expedition and your child ( for what ever reason) has a wobbly and you feel all the eyes of the shoppers watch you and mutter things about you being a bad mother/father. Then you do 'really' understand how being a parent can at times make you feel very 'defenceless' , 'judged' and 'scrutinised' by others. It is very easy to judge others but we all make mistakes and the real judge of a good parent ( in my opinion) is that they see where they have gone wrong and then try their very best to improve the situation.
I applaud Jahoots as they 'see' there is a problem and value their daughter and family enough to want to improve the situation for everyones sake. I would be critical of a parent who knows there is a problem and ignores it as it would take too much effort to fix it!
The first step to resolving a problem is acknowledging there is a problem and not turning a blind eye to it.
Good luck Jahoota and good on you for trying to help your daughter grow up to be the best she can be!! tongue.gif

[Wolverine]

Prevention is a better approach.
Try telling a militant parent you wish to exercise your right as a bratty teen and lemme know how you go...

[SnoWhite]

If a militant approach had been taken with me I probably would have ended up on the streets. Unless you know the full background of the situation and upbringing you have no way of knowing what sort of approach would be 'better'.

[BLB]

Originally posted by Wolfster:
Clearly they are not cash strapped BLB, if they have Toys R Us in each of their bedrooms.

Cash strapped means just enough to put food on the table and sandwiches for lunch.

Some days, lunches are overlooked.

That sort of cash strapped. No Wolvy, I am not talking about the occasional lunch not being there, but the genuine lack of food and clothing and the neccesities of life as they feel that they need to buy stuff for their kids, just to show them they care. When in fact all the kids need most of the time is a hug. These are the kids who throw the best tanys if they do not get their way.

[Wolverine]

Granted.
I'm not saying either extremity should be endorsed, soft or hard.
A balance most definitely.

But a bratty attitude is that of a child who has been allowed to think like that.

We never had the room to think like that and therefore I cannot relate to it, nor do I care to.

I wish Jahoots all the best but as I asked, what the frig has the Jahoot family been doing all these years to prevent a bratty teen?

[Wolverine]

Ok BLB I understand.
Bottom line is the parenting.
That's my viewpoint anyhow.
I know this will disagree with most.

[BLB]

Actually Wolvy, most will agree that it has to do with parenting, and until you have your own, you will not fully understand that what works beautifully one day, turns around and slaps you in the face the next.

[Silverwitch]

I agree BLB the hardest thing to be without is 'love' and from that the respect that goes with it!
I have taught children for a long time now and the children that have the hardest struggle in life in regards to their behaviour are the ones who are unloved and uncared for. They are the hardest to 'turn around' as they have no hope in their lives and don't value themselves let alone value others. Very sad...

[Wolverine]

Originally posted by BLB:
Actually Wolvy, most will agree that it has to do with parenting, and until you have your own, you will not fully understand that what works beautifully one day, turns around and slaps you in the face the next. You're kidding me, I don't need to have my own to have worked out how I will mother.
I raised up my cousins, nappies to algebra.

[Billy]

Originally posted by Silverwitch:
I have taught children for a long time now and the children that have the hardest struggle in life in regards to their behaviour are the ones who are unloved and uncared for. They are the hardest to 'turn around' as they have no hope in their lives and don't value themselves let alone value others. Very sad... Here here

[Shakey Knees]

Wlovy what's wrong with a bit of empathy ? I don't see why your first thoughts about jahootas situation is that he/she is to blame because something that they might not have done. I think your being a bit too rude. did you raise your cousin by yourself or did other family help ? a bit hard to understand being a parent when you've never been a parent I reckon.

[Wolverine]

I have no empathy.
Sorry.

The solution to any situation is to ask the hard questions.
This is what I've done.

Don't confuse the two.

[Shakey Knees]

in fact jahoota is trying to not allow the kid to be a brat any longer by taking some action now so you should be pleased about the prevention being made !

[Shakey Knees]

sorry wolfster but I don't agree. i think your very wrong. and certainly the solution to "any" situation is not by just asking tough questions thats just foolishness.

[Wolverine]

Questions still remain.

I'm removing emotion from this thread for a non biased stance, so as to assist in resolving the scenario. As best as I can anyway.

I don't doubt that Jahoots is one of the most loving parent on this planet, I don't doubt it one bit.

However heard the saying too much love can cripple?

I hazard a guess this is where Jahoot's is at with his offspring.

[Shakey Knees]

based on what? i think your posts aren't giving jahoota anything useful and i can't see a single other person in this thread agreeing with you at all.

Admin note:

Everyone is entitled to an opinion, even if it appears to be incorrect, so please keep it friendly in here.

[ 03. June 2009, 11:45 AM: Message edited by: Paul Oberin ]

[Shakey Knees]

this is too much for me. cyas

[Wolverine]

Originally posted by Shakey Knees:
based on what? i think your posts aren't giving jahoota anything useful and i can't see a single other person in this thread agreeing with you at all. Is this about asking the tough questions to come to a resolution or pleasing people for fear of retribution?

[Wolverine]

Originally posted by Wolfster:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Shakey Knees:
based on what? i think your posts aren't giving jahoota anything useful and i can't see a single other person in this thread agreeing with you at all. Is this about asking the tough questions to come to a resolution or pleasing people for fear of retribution? </font>[/QUOTE]

[DHS]

Originally posted by Wolfster:
Prevention is a better approach.
Try telling a militant parent you wish to exercise your right as a bratty teen and lemme know how you go... I grew up in this sort of environment Wolfster. I don't have many fond memories of my childhood. I can't remember anything from 5 years to around about 11.
There is no way I am bringing my kids up like that. There are rules and boundaries, they need to respect others and themselves. But military style only creates robots who have no respect for their parents in the end.
My kids aren't teens yet, but when they get there I hope they do have hissy fits and brain farts. At least I'll know they are normal.
My thoughts are with you Hoots. Stick it out!!

[SA]

Seems to me this thread has become a lot more about you FW than Jahoota. Asking why that is so might be a tough question.

Good luck mate; I've got nothing else useful to offer.

[SA]

PS.

empathy ≠ sympathy

empathy ≠ agreeing or disagreeing

[Polaris]

I think Jahoota has realised his 1st initial "i will MAKE her realise" idea may have been heat of the moment thinking
They are some sensible ideas here and there is some not so sensible ideas also......
As a parent, I lay my money on Jahoota making the right choice for his daughter as only he knows her better than anyone here.
I have often asked for advice too but in the end made my own decision on what I thought was best for my child

[Polaris]

≠ always wondered how you did that SA SA≠≠≠

:cool:

[frosty]

My first thoughts when I read Jahootas intentions were "wow" that would be a real eye opener. I failed to think about the other side which was Leg's post.


Poor and homeless people are not there for the wealthy to educate our kids on. They are there for many many reasons and what they need is the support of genuine people who really want to be there offering support.
So what about contacting one of the operations mentioned, St Vinnies a homeless shelter or the like and speaking to someone in charge and seeing if they come up with an idea. There may be something that they may suggest that would not offend these people who need help but open your daughters eyes.

Good luck graemlins/snowman.gif

[Jahoota]

Originally posted by Xena:
Hoots - let me guess - she is 15 or 16?

Get a book called "The Princess B*tchface Syndrome"

linky (http://www.capersbookstore.com.au/scripts/shop_item.asp?by=fla&item=2220)

....hence why my daughter is nicknamed in here Princess BF!!! Thanks Xena, I'll go check that book out today. It might just give me some extra strategies.

Amazing set of divergent opinions out here in snowatch land. Amazing how your parenting can be questioned based upon a few simple lines in a thread in a forum.

Sympathy is not requested, nor required. Its the sort of stuff that Legs has pointed out and Xena has provided a book link for. Perhaps women approach these issues in a completely different way from us blokes which is probably a good thing.

So, thanks all. smile.gif

[Snow Yeti]

Good on you Jahoota! Doing a good job!

[tambo]

From the author of a "Bad Mother's revenge"...


"Death BY Teenager", by Sonia Neale.. One mum's hilarious account of raising adolescents... at least it made me laugh, and sometimes, that really helps.....

[Snowpuff]

It hurts like crazy doesn't it Jahoota!

I'm a mum to 3, 2xG 1xB, all but one past their teenage years. There's not many or one answer, and several reasons why this could be happening.
1. Hormones do play a big part
2. Social network that your daughter has
3. Sibling spats/rivalry
4. The transition of teenage to adulthood, finding their place in the world can be difficult.
5. An event that has occured has been hurtful.
& the most important
6. Some kids are just different to others. It's called being an individual, and no matter how it all turns out we as parents still love them just for being a part of us.

As a parent, you can't look back and try to figure out where you went wrong, there's more chance you have done everything right. More often than not I found it's just the way the teenager is trying to find their way in the world. The most important thing you can do is be open and honest. Let your teen know that her behaviour is NQR, and can she/he try to think of do a different way to handle/say it next time. It really helps them with their transition into adulthood if you do it this way. A majority don't look before they leap.

Oh and yes I'm a mum who has older kids, but even that doesn't give me the credentials to pass on information about someone elses child or to make accusations that it's the parents fault. I'm still learning alot of things from my kids as they grow older. But believe me no matter how difficult they are I'm still proud of them.

Hope you can get through to your Princess at some point Jahoota. I can fully understand where you are coming from, I've seen, and still see this in my 22yo.

[Paul Oberin]

This thread is getting a little heated, I accept that it is a topic in which many will have different opinions, but please do not become aggressive towards others with a differing opinion to your own.
I don't have the time to edit aggressive posts so I just delete the entire post, good and bad content.

[SnoWhite]

Originally posted by Wolfster:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by BLB:
Actually Wolvy, most will agree that it has to do with parenting, and until you have your own, you will not fully understand that what works beautifully one day, turns around and slaps you in the face the next. You're kidding me, I don't need to have my own to have worked out how I will mother.
I raised up my cousins, nappies to algebra. </font>[/QUOTE]I don't think that because a parenting method worked for one or a number of children doesn't means it will work for every child!

Snowpuff raises some excellent points. There are lots of other factors involved in a child growing up and going through puberty. Friends and peer groups can have a particularly strong impact on their behavior.

Her point 5 in a way covers my situation. A lot of the problems I experienced were psychological and related to the death of my sister just before I turned 14. You just never know what life is going to throw at you and you could well find yourself ill-equipped to deal with problems and individual's responses until you're in that situation.

And as BLB has pointed out, what works one day might not work the next! In my experience, it was well a truly like that. graemlins/big_laugh.gif

[Podlettte]

Like SW there was a day when I was growing up sometime in my early to mid teens that someone flicked the switch and I went from obedient daughter to hell on 2 legs (comparatively) and my parents were initially very patient and reasoned with me, but after a while they lost their patience, deservedly so! I was a right cow and it continued into my early 20's towards them. Now I can't remember why other than for some reason I felt angry at them. I had no logical reason to be they'd brought me up well, and my sisters didn't behave in the same way, it was purely something I was going through chemically or hormonally, nothing to do with how they raised me

[Jahoota]

Originally posted by Podlettte:
Like SW there was a day when I was growing up sometime in my early to mid teens that someone flicked the switch and I went from obedient daughter to hell on 2 legs (comparatively) and my parents were initially very patient and reasoned with me, but after a while they lost their patience, deservedly so! I was a right cow and it continued into my early 20's towards them. Now I can't remember why other than for some reason I felt angry at them. I had no logical reason to be they'd brought me up well, and my sisters didn't behave in the same way, it was purely something I was going through chemically or hormonally, nothing to do with how they raised me pods, thanks! You have just given me some more faith that eventually all will be ok. Its a very hard thing for us blokes to understand women sometimes, especially teenage ones! smile.gif

[Jahoota]

Originally posted by Snowpuff:
It hurts like crazy doesn't it Jahoota!

I'm a mum to 3, 2xG 1xB, all but one past their teenage years. There's not many or one answer, and several reasons why this could be happening.
1. Hormones do play a big part
2. Social network that your daughter has
3. Sibling spats/rivalry
4. The transition of teenage to adulthood, finding their place in the world can be difficult.
5. An event that has occured has been hurtful.
& the most important
6. Some kids are just different to others. It's called being an individual, and no matter how it all turns out we as parents still love them just for being a part of us.

As a parent, you can't look back and try to figure out where you went wrong, there's more chance you have done everything right. More often than not I found it's just the way the teenager is trying to find their way in the world. The most important thing you can do is be open and honest. Let your teen know that her behaviour is NQR, and can she/he try to think of do a different way to handle/say it next time. It really helps them with their transition into adulthood if you do it this way. A majority don't look before they leap.

Oh and yes I'm a mum who has older kids, but even that doesn't give me the credentials to pass on information about someone elses child or to make accusations that it's the parents fault. I'm still learning alot of things from my kids as they grow older. But believe me no matter how difficult they are I'm still proud of them.

Hope you can get through to your Princess at some point Jahoota. I can fully understand where you are coming from, I've seen, and still see this in my 22yo. thanks puff. some really good take aways in there.

I really appeciate the input folks. smile.gif

[tammiodo]

Originally posted by Podlettte:
Like SW there was a day when I was growing up sometime in my early to mid teens that someone flicked the switch and I went from obedient daughter to hell on 2 legs (comparatively) and my parents were initially very patient and reasoned with me, but after a while they lost their patience, deservedly so! I was a right cow and it continued into my early 20's towards them. Now I can't remember why other than for some reason I felt angry at them. I had no logical reason to be they'd brought me up well, and my sisters didn't behave in the same way, it was purely something I was going through chemically or hormonally, nothing to do with how they raised me Jahoota, I want to echo Podlett's experience. When i was about 14, i turned from God's Gift to my parents, to a horrible little ****head. I was nasty, i was rude, i was *****y... for no apparent reason. i would pick fights with my mother on purpose, i was angry at the world and i thought the world owed me a living. I was probably like this until I was about 17, but gradually grew out of it between about 17 and 19. If I was my parents I'd have hated me with a passion back then. I guess though, as much as we disagreed about everything, they trusted they had done the right thing with me, and now I get along really well with both of them, and i know they're both very proud that i am a responsible, caring and friendly adult with good values.

Trust yourself and your parenting. Your daughter will turn out ok.

[John Deere]

I was a model child, so I am no help at all :D

[SA]

Originally posted by Jahoota:
Its a very hard thing for us blokes to understand women <strike>sometimes</strike> (snip)Fixed

graemlins/outtahere.gif

[Podlettte]

Originally posted by Jahoota:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Podlettte:
Like SW there was a day when I was growing up sometime in my early to mid teens that someone flicked the switch and I went from obedient daughter to hell on 2 legs (comparatively) and my parents were initially very patient and reasoned with me, but after a while they lost their patience, deservedly so! I was a right cow and it continued into my early 20's towards them. Now I can't remember why other than for some reason I felt angry at them. I had no logical reason to be they'd brought me up well, and my sisters didn't behave in the same way, it was purely something I was going through chemically or hormonally, nothing to do with how they raised me pods, thanks! You have just given me some more faith that eventually all will be ok. Its a very hard thing for us blokes to understand women sometimes, especially teenage ones! smile.gif </font>[/QUOTE]As I said, now looking back on it I don't remember why I was so angry and acted out, I just did and at times it was impulse, I may not have genuinely felt like that, but lashed out anyway. Then I'd hate that I'd been like that and either retreat and be a silent PIA or lash out more to hide it.

Mum and dad didn't understand what was going on, and I didn't know how to talk to them about it, I could have, but for some reason felt I couldn't. I guess, just make sure she knows she can talk to you and your ex about it all if/when she needs to

[SnoWhite]

Originally posted by John Deere:
I was a model child, so I am no help at all :D So what happened? graemlins/big_laugh.gif tongue.gif :D

[SnoWhite]

One more thing I'd like to add. During my teenager from hell period, often when my Mum and I would argue she'd often say something along the lines of "I don't like you very much at the moment, but I still love you". smile.gif

[powderhog]

Originally posted by SnoWhite:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by John Deere:
I was a model child, so I am no help at all :D So what happened? graemlins/big_laugh.gif tongue.gif :D </font>[/QUOTE]No need to add anything else, but well worth quoting :D tongue.gif

[John Deere]

Originally posted by SnoWhite:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by John Deere:
I was a model child, so I am no help at all :D So what happened? graemlins/big_laugh.gif tongue.gif :D </font>[/QUOTE]Well, like a fine wine, I only get better with age :D

[Bear]

Nothing to add except, I will repeat that I feel for you Hoota, sometimes it is just better to keep the legs crossed and not have kids. ;)

[SnoWhite]

Originally posted by John Deere:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by SnoWhite:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by John Deere:
I was a model child, so I am no help at all :D So what happened? graemlins/big_laugh.gif tongue.gif :D </font>[/QUOTE]Well, like a fine wine, I only get better with age :D </font>[/QUOTE]I'd say more like a fine wine that's corked. tongue.gif graemlins/outtahere.gif

[Legolas]

Originally posted by John Deere:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by SnoWhite:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by John Deere:
I was a model child, so I am no help at all :D So what happened? graemlins/big_laugh.gif tongue.gif :D </font>[/QUOTE]Well, like a fine wine, I got drunk :D </font>[/QUOTE]as you would smile.gif

[Podlettte]

:D

[John Deere]

Originally posted by SnoWhite:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by John Deere:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by SnoWhite:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by John Deere:
I was a model child, so I am no help at all :D So what happened? graemlins/big_laugh.gif tongue.gif :D </font>[/QUOTE]Well, like a fine wine, I only get better with age :D </font>[/QUOTE]I'd say more like a fine wine that's corked. tongue.gif graemlins/outtahere.gif </font>[/QUOTE]Not much of a taster then are you tongue.gif

[SA]

^Seems to have been a lot of sediment lately, kind of gravelly, even.

[SnoWhite]

graemlins/big_laugh.gif

[Podlettte]

how long did it take you to think that up SA? ;) graemlins/big_laugh.gif

[karen97]

Originally posted by SA:
^Seems to have been a lot of sediment lately, kind of gravelly, even. graemlins/big_laugh.gif graemlins/big_laugh.gif graemlins/big_laugh.gif graemlins/big_laugh.gif graemlins/big_laugh.gif

[BrumbyJack]

Hey Hoots, I've got that Princess *****face book!!! graemlins/big_laugh.gif

It's worth reading... I think I read it the day I got it, got some funny looks when I went into the bookshop and asked for it by name, out loud!!! The little old ladies (customers) were horrified graemlins/big_laugh.gif

[Jahoota]

I have finished reading the PBF book this morning. Its a very short, punchy guide telling it like it is. I could swear he followed J1 around and took notes! :eek:

Its pleasing to note that my ex & I are genrally on the right track with most things in the of practical parenting a teen (in spite of what some textbook non parents think should be all very straight forward graemlins/big_laugh.gif They must have a special manufactures guide that I don't).

There are a few little things I can improve on and I'd be mad not to do so. I'm giving the book to my ex on the weekend to read and I think will help her (she has really be coping it worse than me).

thanks gang. some helpful stuff. smile.gif